Archive for Theater

“Please God, Give Me a Brain Aneurism…”

There is nothing more painful than being forced to listen to song you already hate be severely injured and debilitated while simultaneously given depressants and “numb my emotions” pills, and putting this all in slow-motion and three times as awkward to watch as a Jr. High dance.

I recently (Like, today) saw a city production of the play “Footloose.”  It’s almost a decent play, with some almost decent music, and a VERY almost ALMOST decent plot, and it was none of those.  I was in the production a few years back, and it was almost a decent show (I mean, it was a HIGH SCHOOL production.  I think we did pretty darn good.  Or something.)  and I learned to dislike the show then.  I really have no idea why I wanted to come see this one.  I had a few friends in it, I guess that’s why I went.  And they were pretty good.  But anyway, allow me to express my feelings towards one song in particular that involves “paradise” and another “almost.”

There is, in this certain play, a certain song, which exceeds everything “cheesy” and… Well, disgustingly “romantic.”  From this, we can deduct that I am lacking in the “romanticism” department, but whatever, this isn’t about me.  So thus, I hate the song because it really does suck.  A lot.  The name of this song?  Well, it’s almost debilitating, almost too popular, almost excruciating, and is none other than the song “Almost Paradise,” and listening to these people do it almost killed me.

They begin the song, standing there, up on the stage, looking perfectly awkward with each other.  The female voice was good.  She seemed to have an affinity for holding every ending note out.  A long time.  Then the kid who played Ren came in and for some reason, he sounds breathless and tired.  And then — Oh heck — comes the chorus.  Ren reaches for that “PARE” but… ALMOST reaches it.  I think the kid is 22, but I think his voice is still changing.  And then, the fun part — the interlude.  Where the theme changes and it suddenly get all emotional and “Oh I LOVE you!”  Sorta thing.  Yeah.  That sucked, too.

Ooohhh, there are no words to describe this… I’m ending this here. 

“Almost Paradise?”  Almost KILLED me…

Comments (1) »