Archive for February, 2010

Shoes and Music

I was recently trying to explain types of shoes to a male tuba major who knows absolutely nothing about women’s shoes.  Hence, I came up with these descriptions of what musical era different types of women’s shoes relate to.

1: The wedge heel

I determined that the wedge heel correlates most closely to the mid to late romantic period.  If you have listened to anything from this time period, there is a fullness of… Well sound.  Everything.  Almost to the point of being excessive.  Just as wedge heels are full, so were the orchestras and emotions of the mid to late romantic period.  It was almost hyper-emotional — and one cannot deny that wedges have the greatest capabilities for adding a touch of whimsy to any outfit, and are most often seen during the spring and summer months, optimal times for romances to blossom.

2.  The basic pump

The basic pump is unquestionably classical era.  Musically, it was a time of strict mathematics, unhampered by hyper-emotions.  Of course, it could be paired with great emotion, but in and of itself, it was a time of equilibrium and straightforward-ness — very much like the basic pump.  It can match any business suit, or be paired with a simple, romantic dress and still look good.

3.  Platforms

No, I am not talking about platform shoes of disco fame.  Nor are these shoes from the disco era, but more readily relate to the baroque era.  They are often excessively ornamented, but can also be relatively simple.  Such like a da capo aria.  It begins with the basic melody and verse, moves into a second, contrasting section, and then returns to the original melody, only this time, ornamented to the vocalist’s pleasure.  It often got very complicated, but nonetheless rather exciting — at least at the time.  I’ll be the first to admit I’m often bored to tears by baroque music.  But, it IS rather uppity, which is pretty much what the platform is all about, correct?

4. The basic flat

This shoe is undoubtedly from the renaissance era.  There was nothing too thrilling about it, and the instruments were rather basic.  This shoe just begs for lute accompaniment.

5.  These shoes

These shoes are, without mistake, early 20th century.  Still reminiscent of the romantic period, but trying to breathe a new life into things.  I’d say something like 12-tone music.  Rather unstable and alittle painful to listen to if you’re not used to it.  Of course, sometimes it’s entirely impossible to get used to it.  That’s where the next pair comes in:

6.  Stilletoes

This may look like the platform we mentioned earlier, however, if you look closely, you can almost feel the instability.  Of course, there is a little more stability than the “this shoe,” but still… if I were standing, I would probably fall over just looking at them.  This is why I would say they most closely correspond to basic 20th century, where things are become less stable, rhythms are being played with and manipulated, strange new elements are being delved into.  However, there is still an element of math in it– relating to the classical era, just as the basic pump has been modified to become this shoe.

7.  These other shoes

Yes, these are all shoes, including that green thing down there.  I’m thinking these are a 20th century form of music, perhaps from the 70’s.  Becoming almost unrecognizable in form, distorted to a point where they no longer resemble shoes, but a strange mass of “What the heck?”

And there you have it.  Shoes make a lot more sense to him now.

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