This is Not a Political Post

sailor-obama

I promise.

In all honesty, this post will have nothing to do with Obama, but rather the Sailor Outfit he is wearing.  In fact, one of the only things I like about the guy is his voice.  It’s rather hypnotic.

Anyway, speaking of Sailor Moon, I have recently revived my interest in this Japanese animation cartoon thanks to the vast wonders of YouTube.  I was never able to really get into the actual show as a child due to a lack of cable television, but I exercised my obsessions elsewhere.  My website favorites list was filled with Sailor Moon websites and my picture folders filled with Sailor moon images.  And the images didn’t stop there — my binders and room was filled with my own drawings of spin-off Sailor Moon characters, including, but not limited to, Sailor Death, Sailor X (for planet X), Sailor (insert name of constellation here), Sailor Fun, and Sailor Fiction.  I was recently flipping through these old drawings and cringing at my terrible representations of the female body.  How I wish my scanner were working so I could SHOW you how bad these were.  But I suppose a description will just have to do for now.

It began at the top, as most things do, with gravity-defying hair in rather geometric shapes and always ending in very sharp points that could probably have been  weapons in and of themselves.

The hair naturally leads to the face and head, which were sadly mis-proportionate to the bodies (large), with frighteningly pointed chins and eyes like black-rimmed saucers.  all were sadly lacking in lips, and instead only had small lines for a smirk or frown (depending on how I was feeling that day.  Sailor Death, for example, was looking rather angry and emo).

From the head, we move down to the torso.  I can only say that they were extremely… Erm… Busty.  Perhaps compensating for my youth and… Immaturity?  Perhaps it was because the whole concept seemed so unnatural that my “art” tended to bring out that unnatural… ness.   Anyway, their waists were extremely tiny (in comparison to their “ribcage”) and their arms little more than sticks.  A testament to the nickname given to me by my fellow “moony” friends, toothpick.  (for those of you who don’t know, a “Moony” is a Sailor Moon fan)

The legs and feet are by far the strangest part of these concoctions.  They also were mere sticks, remaining basically the same width through the ankle, knees, thighs, and buttocks.  Poor girls, no booty to keep their pants up, perhaps that’s why they were always wearing skirts.  But that’s beside the point.  Of course, the calves DID curve, as you are well aware, but both the front line of the calf and back line remained parallel, which made the legs look more rubber than stick.  And then of course the ankles were strangely flexible, as were the feet, bending in ways impossible to describe on paper.

And thus it is.  Or they were.  I’d like to clarify I no longer draw like that.  But man, my portfolio from that part of my life is HUGE.  Seriously.

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