The Obligatory Mothers’ Day Tribute

Yes.  I am doing it.  I am writing a blog for my mother as her mothers’ day gift.  I am cheap and was much too busy yesterday to go out and buy something.  But really… She said not to get her anything.  Of course, by youngest sibling gave her a giant novelty card, that I’m sure brought her… “great joy and happiness.”  It was full of all the classic mumbo-jumbo about charity, longsuffering, patience, etc. etc. etc., but who REALLY wants to read that in a silly giant card bought simply to gratify the giver’s conscience so that they could at least say that they got her something?

Not I!  I am writing something from the heart!  From the deepest corners of my most child-ward portions of my soul!  From the most shrunken parts of my college-starved stomach!  From the inner cravasses of my extremely clean hands!  From every arch, every callous, every inch of my feet!  From the tips of every little temperature-sensing nerve in my body!  From every fuzzy sock stolen from her sock drawer to every fuzzy glove pilfered from her collection!  From every disgusting box of pasta-roni, kraft macaroni and cheese, and peanut butter-sandwich!  From every moment of leg-numbness sitting in class filling my brain with things that will make me a giant nerd!  From the hundreds of elementary school, middle school, high school, and college essays with massive amounts of beautiful chicken-scratch!  From every phone call, messy manicure, hair-crimping, What-Not-To-Wear-ing, whistle-fest, and I-love-you-more-ing!

Happy Mothers’ Day, Mom! (No joke!)

(actual picture of what we gave her for breakfast.  Not really.  I found this on deviantart.  But it’s fitting!)




And if that wasn’t gross enough, you should have seen what was left in my fridge at the end of school year while I was moving out.

1 Response so far »

  1. 1

    Mom said,

    Obligatory? Obligatory?! Please understand you need never BUY, DO, or SAY anything on my behalf for Mother’s Day! (but I did enjoy the blog…thanks, sweetheart. You’re wonderful!)

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