Miss America — It’s better than being shot in the face — Oh wait. Nevermind.

I am furious.  Absolutely furious.

This evening was the extremely-publicized and worked-up Miss America Pageant, that was supposed to be completely updated and extremely different from the years and years of big hair, safe answers, glitter, over-glamour, bikinis, and “dancer’s face.” 

So much for that idea.

I guess the only way to win was to sell-out.  The only ones who didn’t sell out was Jill Stevens, miss Utah, and Sadie Quiley, Miss Idaho.  Of course, I am from Utah, but again, she was they were only girls who refused to conform to the world’s new form of beauty — barely-there bikinis, dresses to show off their “best assets” (boobs, butt, back, and thighs — I thought it was supposed to be their brains?), hair that resembles that of a senator’s wife, and makeup that kind of reminds me of how a lot of the girls in Jr. High looked like when they were first allowed to wear makeup and had yet to be educated on the beauty of subtlety.

I’m so infuriated I am giving up on making my sentences coherent.

Miss Michigan (our new Miss America — What a cop-out) sang possibly the MOST SUNG SONG OF AAAALLLLL TIIIIIIME.  Although, it is a fantastic song, if you’re REALLY trying to update the show, SING SOMETHING THAT HASN’T BEEN SUNG TWO MILLION TIMES BEFORE!!!  And frankly, I think she slaughtered it.  I literally cringed and was writhing in pain during most of the train wreck.  Her dress basically looked like she was wearing nothing but glitter in all the right places.  So much for the “cotoure” thing.  Also, they really didn’t need to take the crown off the previous Miss America, because frankly, they could have been the same person.  White, blonde, with hair with enough hairspray in it to create another hole in the ozone layer.  She could also have been Britney Spears:

See any similarities?(for full-size image, go to http://img32.picoodle.com/img/img32/4/1/26/f_brittneyandm_f074ea1.jpg)

Just goes to prove that if you are white, blonde, use enough hairspray to create another hole in the ozone layer, and wear sparkles in all the right places, even YOU can become famous!

I was very disappointed that America’s choice was eliminated the first chance the judges got.  She was the only one to wear a one-piece (or rather, was able to show it off — Miss Idaho would have worn one too, and fought very hard to be able to, Kudos to her)– a very bold move that apparently scared the judges out of their pants.  “Holy — Wha??  We don’t want America’s women to stop wearing bikinis!!  We want to see those navels!  OFF WITH HER HEAD!”  I have no words to describe my fury…

I believe that the judges should have gone through the reality check.  An especial favorite judge of mine was Jason La Padura — Casting director of the atrocity that is High School Musical, the ridiculously popular Disney movie that is proof that in order to make money in the acting business, you must sell out, and sell out hard, which is exactly what La Padura did.  Thank you La Padura for endorsing selling out to make it big.  You make us proud.

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1 Response so far »

  1. 1

    Ernie Douglas said,

    The judges sent a very clear message.


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