Of Stereotypes and The Real World

It is a known fact that Utah is it’s own little “special” world.  I have lived that this “special” world for the larger part of my life.  It’s rather lovely here, except, of course, it contains no semblance whatsoever to the so-called “real” world.  I have no real comparisons to make, because I have no idea what the real world is actually like, apart from what I see on reality TV shows.  So, from a Utahn’s perspective of what the real world is like from my 14-inch TV screen, here is what I surmise would be my experience anywhere but Utah/Idaho. (also, see http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Utah for a deep and “insightful” view of Utah and it’s “culture”)

If I were to move out and live in the real world, I would live in an apartment with a nice balcony where I would have parties every night.  I would always be worried about my next payment, but somehow, I lived in a rather nice apartment with brightly-colored walls and lavish furnishings.  I would always be in a fight with one of my girlfriends, and I would always be crushing on my best friend’s boyfriend.  Meanwhile, I am also falling in like with my adorable landlord, who I see at the gym every day.  I would have a never-ending wardrobe that would fit me perfectly, and I would never wear the same thing twice.  I would never have to worry about my jeans not staying up because they would be perfectly fitted to my body shape and size.  I would work all day to come home to nine catty girls, all equally as attractive as myself and working towards the same goal.  I would meet with famous people every day, and even though I also had to work a real job, I would do awesome things like go on shopping sprees and get photographed endlessly all day.  Somehow.  I would monopolize the phone and make out with lots of men. 

And yet, somehow, I would find time to tend to the ranch and tell everyone about my parents with dwarf-syndrome.  I would also go out and do crazy things like bungee-jumping and water-skiing and blowing up hot water heaters all the time, and go to awesome places like Paris, Japan, and Australia.  I would go to the beach all the time and get the perfect tan, and have perfectly manicured nails every day.

It would be amazing.

 And yet very, very wrong.

I don’t think I want to live in the real world.

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