Lack-Luster Movies

So, everyone knows how strange and deranged dreams can get sometimes.  I saw the movie I am Legend last night, and I’m guessing that may be the cause for the somewhat sad realization this dream caused in me.

I have now learned that my brain is incapable of thinking of anything truly scary if left to its own devices.  I realized this as I woke up from a rather vivid, a bit frightening, slightly macabre, and a little off-center dream sequence. 

It went as such:

I believe this was a flashback sequence, as the entire time I had the sensation that I was, in fact, in bed.  I was being told about some being who was kind of like the grim reaper with a twist of lemon — quite literally (although, I don’t know how literal I can get when discussing a dream).  He would, in essence, dissolve his victims (using dark magic, of course) into a drinkable liquid.  Each victim had a different flavor – the reaper guy told me later that he had, in fact, had some very interesting-flavored people-nectar (that sounds horrible… Silence of the Lambs, anyone?), including a black-cherry, and Strawberry Daiquiri (a girl from the OC who died in a car wreck episode; Yes, I’m talking about the show, not the place).

Anyway, end of flashback and I’m back in bed, wide awake because, in fact, my feet are still cold.  But I’m still asleep.  You know.  Awake… In bed… In my dream… Yes, this does happen a ridiculous amount of the time, I dream of myself sleeping.  It is VERY exciting, indeed.  SO.  I was wide awake because somehow, I knew the reaper guy was in fact IN THE NEXT ROOM!! (insert horrific violin screech here) I knew because, although the room adjacent to mine is John’s room, I could hear the high pitched screams that are only available in the female ranges.  I came to the conclusion that I was next on the menu, so I did my best to prepare by pulling up the covers and covering my head, but as I heard the screams stop and the reaper going into his opening schpeil as he entered my room (“I’m hardly human, I’ll suck out your life, blah blah blah… Kind of like Team Rocket’s on the Pokemon cartoons) I just HAD to look, as you are NEVER supposed to do when you suddenly find yourself in the middle of a horror movie.  Oh well.

Here’s the sad part.  I could quite literally FEEL my brain trying to think of something scary enough to live up the hype that had been given to this guy throughout the entire dream.  Sadly, the only thing it could come up with was an eerie undulating “black mist.”  A great rip-off of the black mist thing from the popular TV show, LOST.  But the horror didn’t stop, THERE, no!  The mist had to MATERIALIZE into something, and again, I could feel the brain worms working very, very hard, wriggling around trying to find something “hardly human” and REALLY scary.  Sadly, they ran out of time and for some reason, the scariest thing they could come up with was… (insert building violin screech thing you hear in all the horror movies to make you think something REALLY scary is about to happen)… JACK SKELINGTON!  Yes!  The likeable hero from the popular Christmas-slash-Halloween movie, The Nightmare Before Christmas!  His voice was rather like the voice of Dr. Hannibal Lecter (Anthony Hopkins)—”deviously” kind, but a little creepy.  But, it was still a life-size version of Jack Skellington standing right in my room about to suck the life essence out of me, which came in a nice tall glass with a COMPLETE breakfast – I kid you not.

And so, I realize that I can now cross “macabre horror novelist” off my list of possible occupations because I now realize that I am incapable of thinking of anything original and scary.  This may be the plight of countless other horror flick writers, because I have seen WAY too many movies that put pale white little girls in night-dresses with long black hair and black holes for eyes that can kill a full-grown man by simply being creepy. So I don’t feel so alone in my unconcious unoriginality.

In short, watch out for Jack Skellington late at night as you’re cuddled up warm in your little bed, because he JUST might come into your quaint little bedroom as he materializes out of a “Lost” black mist, drinks your life essence and strangles your screams.

J

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1 Response so far »

  1. 1

    Kim said,

    Hi Mandy! I really enjoyed your dream! You are THEROXORS. … whatever that is and however you spell it =)


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