Intentions?: Oh, What a Blunder

Newbert has officially proven himself to be a greater dating dunderhead than I had previously made MYSELF out to be.  He has committed a courtshipping crime of such huge proportions, not once, but TWICE now.  He has now asked out THREE girls that live IN THE SAME ROOM.  He does not realize how horribly, HORRIBLY wrong things can go for him at any moment in his pursuit of dating equilibrium.  The scales are tipping, but most definitely not in his favor.

Now, as you may recall, Newbert, at first, asked my roommate Jordan out.  I had no idea really who he was, and really didn’t care who he dated.  So, they went on one date and he starting hanging around our apartment a LOT, and eventually ended up asking ME out.  You may recall the confusion that ensued in the room, to which Newbert was completely incognizant.

Well, many things happened.  Well, not much really, but time passed, and thus we reach the point at where I realize that Newbert and I have nothing in common and he realizes that I have nothing in common with his ex-girlfriend, and therefore am not worth the social stress.  Things simmer down and I no longer feel awkward and socially retarded — In fact, I’m at the top of my game.  I now find his attachment to his girlfriend not a slap in the face, but rather an amusing fact that will hopefully, for his sake, dissappear by the time he gets home from his mission. 

Anyway, back to the actual plotline.  He comes over to my place last night, reason unknown.  Jordan is in bed, Jessica is over at B building, Kristen is out with friends, and Melissa is at work.  So, we play a little Bloody Roar 2.  Just like old times.  Except of course he sits a comfortable one and half feet away from me.  And then Jessica arrives. 

The previous night, he had texted Jordan about asking her out, but I never thought it would happen so soon.  He engages in smalltalk flirting with Jessica, and Jessica, being the tough chick she is, seems to find it as amusing as me.  He then “gracefully” (kind of like a tap-dancing emu) segways into asking her out.  Strangely enough, that same odd confusion fell upon all the females in the room, and Jessica replied in a way that was oddly reminiscent of how I had replied to his invitation about a month prior.  Except of course, she was expecting it and she actually has other friends.  But of course, she replies yes, and they plan it for the following Thursday.  While I’m in the room.  By a poll taken of all the guys in my phone book, this is possibly one of the most doltish things to do in the prescence of a girl you had previously dated.  “Dude, tell this guy to go date his mom or something… (John)”

Now, to demonstrate the Newbert’s astounding creativity, they are going out for hot chocolate.  Hm.  That sounds familiar.  Didn’t he and Jordan do that on their date?  And didn’t Newbert and I do that on OUR date?  Oh, Newbert, you slay me.

Dating roommates.  Seinfeld says it can’t be done gracefully.  The girls of Manzanita C-6 are here to prove him right.

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