Intentions?: Missed signals

Alright, so I admit it.  I have failed to post new blogs about the “experiment.”  and in the time between the first blog and this one, many things have come in to light, and it has ceased to be an experiment in intentions, but rather an experiment in the extent of my own idiosyncrasis and obliviousness to what the heck is going on.

In essence Jordan is no longer a key factor in this “experiment” but rather my sounding board for ideas on what IS really going on.  The only problem is, both of us are completely clueless in the field of “body language.”  And thus, this post shall be dedicated to the various items in the body language bag of tricks that will henceforth and forever boggle me and thus doom me to being single forever.

Most of these items occur while watching movies — which mostly have involved zombies and memory loss, thus to avoid those gosh darned face-sucking scenes (although, there was plenty of blood-sucking going on in the zombie movie.  But that’s just awesome).  And so we begin.

Item 1: seating arrangements.

Newbert has recently taken to sitting “dangerously close” during these frequent movies.  As in, shoulder to shoulder.  Being very cold everwhere in Cedar City, even inside buildings, I do not object, but rather sit in beffudlement as to this sudden breach of the one-foot barrier that most testosterone-bearing beings have hitherto seemed to keep from me.  It happened for all three movies we watched this past weekend (Yes, one every day.  Noone else wanted to do anything.  Don’t judge me!).  I recall a scene when I came to watch Arrested Development with Jordan and Newbert.  I arrived late, and thus there was little room on the couch and I had to sit on a separate sofa from Jordan and Newbert, between which was a very pleasant and friendly two-feet of space between.  When I arrived, Newbert moved farther from Jordan and closer to the edge of the sofa closest to the chair in which I was sitting.  But, no invitation to sit on the same couch.  During date 3 (Sidewalk chalking and hot chocolate at The Grind), there WAS, however, and invitation to sit on the same couch as we sipped our hot chocolate (a loveseat couch, nonetheless), with a claim that it was, in fact, a better couch than the regular three-cushion sofa I had at first taken to to enjoy my hot chocolate.  And then, suddenly, the most recent destruction of the couch barrier.

Anyway, it just causes me to wonder — how often does Newbert find occasion to do that?  Because he seems rather nonchalant about it all, whilst I sit rather awkwardly and stiffly.  I also have to wonder if any of this is registering in his brain.

Item 2: The dead fish arm

This, I hear, is a rather common hand-holding tactic, used by thousands of  assertive-less adolescents everywhere.  It consists, basically, of one of the couch-sitting members leaving their hand awkwardly on the couch at their side, closest to the other couch-sitter, in hopes that possibly the other couch member will grasp it and a “moment” will ensue.  I believe I have encountered this type of placement at other types of social events, but have never reciprocated well, because I, as you well know, am completely oblivious.  The question must be asked — is that actually an innocent arm-placement left there for no other reason than comfort, or is the placement a strategic way to create another level of couch-sitting-movie-watching?  I’m assuming I’ll never know.

Item 3: HIS head plus MY shoulder

This one I actually found rather… Hm… Odd.  I feel it as a bit of a role-reversal, if I’m correct.  As I see it in the movies, the FEMALE is supposed to innocently put HER head on the male’s shoulder, indicating “OMG I am SOO comfortable.  Lurvs.” But in this case, he apparently decided to take the initiative.  And I found the whole thing so hilariously ironic that I literally laughed out loud.  I have no idea how he took that, but it seemed to have to lasting effects, because he did it again, and just kind of stayed there while I flipped through the channels after the movie and came to rest on something on the food channel.  He stayed there for rather a long time.  It was all just… odd.  And so, my beffuddlement continues.

And so, there are the three main items that I wished to cover.  There are plenty more, but I just recieved an invitation for a walk from Newbert himself, as both of us have been cooped up in our rooms all day.

Maybe more later, we’ll see… 😉

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